7/17/21 - Mindsets Toward Community & Solitude

I feel so often that we are led by the negative versions of emotions. We feel guilty, so we do one thing, or we feel angry, so we do the opposite.

Maybe I’m crazy, and I’ve never heard anyone talk like this before, but I actually don’t get sick of being around close friends. There may be things they do that irritate me from time to time, but I don’t actually get sick of them. Now this doesn’t mean that I want to be around them all the time either; I love spending time alone. This is about something different--intentionality.

I don’t want to go spend time alone because I’m sick of someone or sick of people. I don’t want to keep doing the opposite thing because I feel emotions toward one thing. I want to keep following the path God leads me to follow because I enjoy that path, I enjoy Him and I trust where He calls me to be. I want to intentionally live every part of my life, without having to worry about anything else.

What kind of person am I if the reason I am with people is because I think that I have to be? And what kind of life am I living, if the reason I am alone is because I’m sick of people? That’s a prison I don’t want to live in anymore (although I’ll admit I have my moments). I want to be alone because I genuinely enjoy time alone and genuinely enjoy my time with the Lord.

I think part of the reason people start to think this way is because they think that if they are together, they have to be talking or they have to be intentionally doing things together. Sometimes, I honestly enjoy doing two separate things in the same room as someone else while still enjoying their presence.

I don’t get sick of talking to the Lord or His Presence, but I’m not called to always be completely alone with Him or to always be intentionally talking to Him (though I’ll admit I do want to feel His Presence throughout the day & talk to Him throughout the day. This is where the analogy breaks down a bit). In the same way, since we are created in the image of God, I believe that I don’t have to think from a place of getting irritated by someone, even if sometimes they do get on my nerves. I want to choose to see them as perfect (Matt 5:48 “…be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.”), believing that as the Lord renews us, we don’t have to keep fighting & we can genuinely always enjoy one another, even though we’re not, and shouldn't, always going to be around each other.

Big props to one of my best friends & housemate of four years—Jon Brooks. Bro, we definitely had our fights early on (mostly when I had PTSD), but after 4 years of living together, we almost never fought & I almost always enjoyed being around you. Miss you!